This Struggle Must Succeed

We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. - Elie Weisel

I am on the side of change! As an early childhood educator, I consider as my primary task the creating of an environment in which people learn how to live together. We have to participate in moving toward a world where we can all live together, and as a white man I am connected with my own responsibility for participating in positive cultural evolution. It is up to me. And you. And everyone, especially if you are white. The problem is not a problem of darker skinned people. The problem is white people. I am part of the problem. And I can be part of the solution.

Sure, we are all in this together, regardless of the color or tone of skin we wear. And it is always the right time to help children recognize the humanness in others, it is always the time to stand as a boundary to protect children from physical harm, emotional harm and from ingesting beliefs that have lead to implicit biases about the worth of others. 

We are all in this together and as adults we must stand up for equality, and equity, and we can speak out for justice.

Most of all, we can honestly look inside and try to discover any biases we have in our thinking and in our habits. It is there! It comes from our upbringing. It comes from the media we were ’exposed to’ as a younger person. It comes from hundreds of years of the reinforcing of systemic racism and oppression, both conscious and unconscious. It comes from the stories, and depictions of those stories that are so prevalent in our world. 

We each have to find the tools that work for exploring and transforming our own implicit biases, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. There are many techniques but simply reading about implicit bias is not enough. Talking about it and writing blogs about it is not enough. This is seriously hard work that takes significant time and effort. The first action toward creating a better world for all is to look honestly and courageously inside ourselves and then do the hard work of undoing our own biases. Open-mindedness is also important because we only have our own perspective. Can we learn to hear someone's observations or even criticisms about us in an openminded way? There is no other way forward.

Only then can we truly begin to entertain thoughts of guiding young children away from racism and away from anti-blackism in various creative avenues. For this step, I always need to consider the particular child in front of me when determining what to say and how to say it. How much awareness and awakeness is present in this human being before me? But it is not a question of when to say it. When is the right time? The right time is the very moment when it comes up, when the child observes or says something in this now moment. 

As educators of young children, we can guide the little ones into the possibility of less implicit bias. And we can do it in how we respond to things the children say and do. 

Here are some specific ideas:

1. Be awake to the moment with the young child! Young children are by nature curious. When a child opens the door to conversation by making observations about physical attributes such as skin color, hair texture, or any other physical characteristic, do not wait until 'later.' Not only are young children so strongly 'in the present moment,' later usually never comes. Have those conversations even if you do not feel prepared. Base your comments on observations, on what can be seen? Examples; "Yes, we all have different skin color." "I think it is so great that people have different colors and are not all the same.""People with skin like me are usually called 'White,' even though my skin isn't really white. People with dark skin are often called'Black' even though their skin isn't really black."

2. Take opportunities to highlight the value of engaging with people different than yourself. And always engage the child when he or she mentions something that attributes value to physical attributes. Do not let the opportunity slip by out of embarrassment or the hope that it will slip by unnoticed. The child WILL notice if he or she says something and you do not engage with them in that moment. This is how they discover our values - not by explaining things, but by being present to what is and engaging with it in the now.

3. Offer the child the example of your words and actions. This is how they learn and develop habits, values, and unconscious biases. When you hear unkind words or biased statements from others, say something. Call it out. I always advise these words as a simple and truthful reveal of what is my inner truth - "I don't like that." "I don't like talk like that."

Of course, try and make "I statements" and don't say "I don't like it when you say...." That won't go well. If you state what is your inner truth about such things, the child may eventually begin to take up that practice through imitation.

4. Be sure the children have experiences of events celebrating other cultures. This is a great opportunity for questions to arise from children. Advise parents to take the opportunity to engage in honest observation-based conversation. Restaurants offering food from other cultures is another avenue into conversation.

5. Give your stories careful contemplation before you tell them. Consider the embedded messages in the stories, and find stories whose messages align with valuing all types of humanness. Story can be a powerful tool for behavioral and attitudinal change so we must carefully consider what are the stories we are telling our children. Find those stories that align with true human values, or write new stories.

A systemic change in American society is needed. I do not have the big answers. I know that each one of us can make a difference if we start with ourselves and the people whose lives we have direct contact with.

All of my grandchildren are of mixed race and ethnicity. I want them to grow up in a better world. I want a better world for all the people of our shared planet. And so I ask you to join me in the hard work of self education and self transformation for the sake of all of our fellow humans.

We have to learn to listen to each others' experiences, we have to be open to honest evaluation of our efforts and we must continually refine our understanding in this struggle to make this a better place. This is a struggle that must succeed.

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