Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Real Things Real Children Said

A while back I was going to give a speech and was planning to include things real children really said over my years in kindergarten. I never got a chance to give that speech, but here are some things children really said over my years in kindergarten. All of these were things I overheard. I did not initiate these conversations. I had my eyes and ears open, and my mouth was closed, except in those instances when I was directly engaged by the children. I did change the names of the children involved.

I hope you enjoy and learn something from these wise people. Let me know.

Social difficulties and solutions
“I knew he wouldn’t listen so I had to push him.”

“I got my loud voice from my mom.”

“They are teasing me, just like I tease my brother.”

When Jack, the largest child in kindergarten, walked in, he went straight over to George, who was building a house to play in. Nothing happened prior to Jack saying, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”

“You used to be a grown-up, and now you are not.”

“Stars are dead people.”
“It’s true. When you see a shooting star it’s a person going up to heaven.”

Sam - “I don’t have any grandparents anymore. They all died.”
Joe - “That’s ok. Someday you’ll see them again. Someday you’ll die and go up to heaven and be with them.”
Sam - “And then I’ll come down again.”
Joe - “When you die you turn into an angel.”
Sam - “No, but the angels help you.”
Charles - “When you die you turn into a spirit. First you turn into a skeleton, and then a spirit.”

“I’m sad Steve. My grandfather died.”
Me - “I’m so sorry. When?”
“Before I was born. The cigarettes did it.”

Jill - “God is here. I talk to god.”
John - “God is in heaven.”
Maya - “God is everywhere.”
Jill - “God is in us.”
Maya - “God is here. We’re sitting on him.”

Julia - “If you go to heaven you have to get nailed to the cross. I know, I saw it on TV.”
Hannah - “It’s not heaven, it’s the spiritual world.”
Michael - “God is in your stomach.”

Roles and vocations
“I’m half Italian and half vegetarian.”

“When you grow do you want to be a mother or a father?”

Marco- “In the olden days the only people on earth were mermaids.”
Emmett - “What are you talking about? They were cavemen. Cowboys and cavemen.”

Daniel - “A lawyer is a guy on TV.”
Peter - “No, a lawyer is a guy who lives in a mobile home park.”

Random snippets
“I woke up in the middle of the night with an ear infection and my dad had to scream at me to stop crying.”

Hannah, shouting - “Go away. Get out of this room you guys. I’m trying to meditate. Quiet you guys.”

“Steve, you should put up a sign that says to lift up the seat to pee.”
“But the children in kindergarten don’t read yet.”

“At kindergarten I play over and over and over.”

Sarah whispered something to the back of Katie’s head.
Sofia, to Sarah - “There are no secrets in kindergarten.”
Sarah - “I didn’t tell it to her ear so it’s not a secret.”

“I don’t want to learn any Spanish because I just talk.”

And two sad ones to end
“Oh good, Eileen [the regular kindergarten teacher who was absent] is not here. Now we can play!”

“When I woke up I thought I was a grown up because I was so serious.”

What have you heard lately out of the mouths of babes? Please let me know. And please share this with your friends.


  1. Delightful! Wish I wrote down things my children had said when they were young. Thanks for doing this.

  2. Love those quotes. Here are a few from my 3 year old.

    "When I was running at the park I got an egg in my butt."

    I asked her what Mother Goose poem she wanted me to read. She says "We Will Rock You".

    "Daddy, are we going to New York for lunch?"

    "Old MacDonald had a poop."

    1. I love it! What an uplifting book this would make.